Aches and Pains

I have a very bad back today. To the point where movement is a challenge! This seems so trivial compared to other news that has just recently broken. Jack Layton has died this morning. He had been taking time off to fight cancer but it was announced less than a month ago and he has died this morning. No one is sure what this will mean for the NDP party or for the future of Canada. It feels like we have been diverted from a path today and I hope that the future will still be as bright as it could have been.

Only time will tell...

The Road Ahead

Having a down day today as we all do from time to time. Today I am wrestling with complacency and inactivity with a case of the doldrums. The phrase that popped out at me from today's reading is "he sees what is best and yet hath not resolution enough to follow it". Hmmm I need to find that ambition and resolution.

I am struck with a sense of restlessness and the need to move forward but I know not which direction to move in or what action to take. I just feel like I am stagnating and looking for new horizons and new ventures to move forward with. Let us all strive to grow and never be comfortable with complacency and the status quo.

Grey day outside

today is a very grey day...

I have decided that I will not allow the weather to overly influence me and pull me into a grey mood. The birds are singing outside still, persistently not allowing the murkiness of the atmosphere to dampen their spirits. I will be like the birds and greet the day with sunshine in my soul, a cheerful outlook with thankfulness for all of the blessings that life has given me.

I have a mail out to complete for my work and bread to make and supper to plan. I also need to do some more work on my new craft project, a felted autumn wreath. Life is groovy, time to get moving. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Figuring out what is important

Today's reading in "Words of the Ancient Wise" (blog maintained by my husband) we are reminded of the fleeting nature of things and how they control and govern our lives.

With our 25th anniversary this year we went a little "hog wild" on buying things, (tv, surround sound, piano) which we now regret somewhat. As long as we have learned the lesson though then it was still a valuable life lesson.

I always dreamed of owning a small home slightly in the country with a small piece if land for food, animals, etc. Solar and wind powered with it's own clean water source. Beautiful yet simple, an oasis from the madness that is our society and city living. We need to refocus and realize that is our ulitmate dream and start working towards it again.

Finally Checking In

Well life has thrown me some curve balls since my last post in January. I have been dealing with a lot of health issues and I am working on finding answers. Hopefully I will be posting again soon.

A New Year and a New Road

Well a New calendar year is upon us. It is now 2011! Where are the flying cars and teleport stations?

Seriously, my past post mentioned that I would be taking the month of December to contemplate my life moving forward and figure out just what I want that life to look like. Well I think I have figured out what I want my life landscape to look like moving forward.

I am a Humanist. I do not only have humanist sympathies and enjoy working for the non-profit humanist organization that I do BUT I am a humanist. I no longer believe in the God of my childhood or the later Gods that I have recently come to explore. The only being responsible for my life is ME. I am a humanist that has a foundation of the philosophy of Stoicism to react and interact from. I am a Stoic Humanist in that I no longer believe in deity but I do believe in man's ability and imperative need to act ethically.

This realization that I am a Humanist leaves me with quite a bit of fallout. I, as in all things, must strive to be true to my nature as a Humanist. In order to do this I must be genuine and act with integrity while walking through this world. This need for integrity means that I will no longer be a part of ADF as I can no longer profess a belief in the supernatural or a theistic universe. I believe that occurrences that have the appearance of being supernatural are actually natural just beyond our reason at this present time. I am good living with that ambiguity and will move forward from that point.

I am recreating my life and myself one day at a time based on this foundation of strength and truth. I am filled with a sense of wonder and excitement at what the River of my lifetime holds within its currents. Just around the river bend, like Pocahontas, filled with a zest for life and insatiable curiosity.

Make Good Choices!

Wow it has been such a long time since I have written anything here... almost 5 months!

Winter is upon us now... we had our first reasonable snowfall last night and woke up to a cold wintry wonderland this morning.

Reading Words of the Ancient Wise this morning and I discovered a comment that I had made last year... "This is the first lesson of a Stoic that Death is not to be feared but to be accepted. Once you accept that death is a part of life then you are free to live fully. The only thing of real importance is your choice and that can only be controlled by yourself. Everything else in this life is just details, many of them are wonderful details, but just details. - comments from reading Epictetus DISCOURSES. Book i. 1. 6" I realized that I am still trying to figure out the "best" choices rather than living fully... I am still waiting until I grow up and figure out what I want to be. I always wanted to live purposefully being mindful of everything. When I take stock of my life I realize that I am still living somewhat accidentally. Allowing Life to be lived through me rather than living through Life. It is a subtle and yet vital difference. I am going to spend the rest of December thinking about what I want out of Life and see if I can't start the New Year with a renewed resolve to live life with purpose.

I think the first thing to do today is to sit down and figure out what needs to be accomplished for our Winter Solstice/Saturnalia party on Friday night and for other friends' celebrations next Saturday that we are invited to participate in. Once I have that list I can start a list for the week after leading up to Xmas. This should allow me to live life more deliberately at least until after December 25th. At that point I can take some time for reflection moving into the New Year and beyond.

Mediocrity at any cost!

I find there is a trend in this modern age to devalue others accomplishments and talents. We have subscribed to this doctrine of "mediocrity and equality" to the point were there is a homogeneous mess of average. The individuals that stand out are envied and, in some cases, encouraged to conform to the norms of society so that "others" will not feel "bad".

We need to focus on finding the aspects of life that people excel at and encourage them to hone those skills to a fine edge, rather than focusing on their limitations in other areas. This change in focus will allow everyone to excel at their talents and be the best that they personally can be.

I have decided that I am going to spend some more quality time exploring a few of my talents this year, sewing and music. These are two aspects of myself that I have "let go" for various reasons but at which I excel. Hail to the fine edge of craftsmanship! I hope I can reach and attain it. :)

By our Fruits are we known

At the risk of using an old cliche, it is by our fruit that the goodness of the seed is known. How I live my life is an example of how my philosophy of life works. People will see the value of the ancient's wisdom by my ability to apply it in our modern world.

It is quite the solemn responsibility to carry the torch of philosophy forward. As I constantly refine my life to a purer form may I always keep the goal of ambassador in the forefront of my motivations.

Grasshopper and the Ant

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/food-and-wine/eat-up-we-may-soon-witness-the-decline-and-fall-of-a-food-empire/article1609951/

I woke up to this article being reference on the Ontario Emergency Preppers Network blog. It is a good incentive to rethink just what greening we can do in our urban environment. We have quite a bit of space for a suburban home. I need to get thinking about growing as much as we can again and also canning, etc. I would much rather be the grandmother type with lots of cold storage and canning than our modern day shop every other day type.

I have missed the growing period this year but I need to start preparing the space and planning to get everything in next Spring and on time in order to take advantage of as much of the growing season as possible. So time to find some motivation and get focused!!

Making a small difference

As a girl I went through an exercise of realizing just how small I was in the grand scheme of things. I spent a few moments totally freaked out feeling that I was going to disappear from existence because I was so infinitesimally small. Although we are small, we can make a difference now in this world. Sometimes when we look at the huge ills that plague this world we have moments of "what's the point" and "what can little me do"?

We need to step away and realize that we are only ultimately responsible for our own lives and the lives of those closest to us. By living a life that is based on a strong virtue foundation, striving to make a difference each day, we can enrich the lives of those around us. This makes those around us happier and more content which in turn causes a small part of the world around us to be infected with our good influence.

The small ways in which I can make a difference are many and effect different spheres of influence.

Home: - do small maintenance and cleaning jobs to contribute to the upkeep of the home

- seasonal changes and organization

- maintain the household budget, banking, etc.

Family: - provide a secure nest to return to for holidays and special occasions

- making food from "scratch" to eliminate chemicals and additives

- be available for friends and family when they are in need

Studies: - eliminate time wasters to be able to read and study

- set up a study space so that it is easier to get the writing and studies done

A Rose by another name

SAITH the Poet, "The winds blow upon the trees, and their leaves fall upon the ground. Then do the trees begin to bud again, and by the springtime they put forth new branches. So is the generation of men; some come into the world, and others go out of it." Of these leaves then thy Children are. And they also that applaud thee so gravely, or, that applaud thy speeches, with that their usual acclamation, O wisely spoken! and speak well of thee, as on the other side, they that stick not to curse thee, they that privately and secretly dispraise and deride thee, they also are but leaves. And they also that shall follow, in whose memories the names of men famous after death, is preserved, they are but leaves neither. For even so is it of all these worldly things. Their spring comes, and they are put forth. Then blows the wind, and they go down. And then in lieu of them grow others out of the common matter of all things, like unto them. But, to endure but for a while, is common unto all. Why then shouldst thou so earnestly either seek after these things, or fly from them, as though they should endure for ever? Yet a little while, and thine eyes will be closed up, and for him that carries thee to thy grave shall another mourn within a while after.

MARCUS AURELIUS. MEDITATIONS. Book x. 36.

If I liken myself to a flower, perhaps a Rose, I should strive to be the most fragrant, colourful and bountiful rose that I can be. The trick in life is to figure out what activities and pursuits make the best of our "best self" and to pursue these things as a priority in our lives. We often get sidetracked away from our potential as a Rose and think of ourselves as a Carnation instead. Yes, it is still a flower but we can never be a good Carnation if we are a Rose.

A good exercise for me to do today would be to actually figure out what makes me "tick" and what pursuits and goals would allow me to reach my full potential. What do Roses do and what makes Roses grow, bloom and flourish? This is one of my tasks today... to sit down and write what makes me bloom and flourish.

Complacency in the Modern Age

"For I know what a slave is, blinded by what he thinks good fortune." - Epictetus

We tend towards complacency when we have a "comfortable life". We can sit in suburbia and not feel the plight of the homeless or those suffering loss at the hands of natural disasters, etc. The challenge is to act in a virtuous manner in spite of the fact that we are comfortable. If we choose not to act or do what we can, we are making ourselves a slave to our comfort and good fortune. The very level of comfort that we strove to attain becomes the master that enslaves us to complacency.

Above our my thoughts based on our Stoic reading of the day. As a "kept woman" I often struggle with a lack of motivation and complacency. Quite often the larger principles of "living close to nature" etc. shout out the day to day principles of virtue and doing what is right and living in the present. Lately, I have been lost in a tangent of looking for a country spread in which to live closer to nature but this has caused my suburban spread to look more neglected and less loved and more "lived in". I have decided to focus less on the search for a country spread and focus more on living fully day to day. A principle that can save me from spinning my wheels and never fully accomplishing much on a daily basis.

First: Home blessing - surface clean the house from top to bottom, make chili for supper so we are ready for the gym.
Second: Sort through my fabric to see what I can use for robes that I need to make.
Third: Get ready to lead the Skira for Midsummer this weekend.

setting appropriate goals

We need to understand what is truly in our power. If we set a goal and it is something that is totally beyond our capacity to achieve, we will be miserable and feel thwarted. We need to put value in the appropriate goals and principles and will thus achieve a happy and productive life.

I can want to be a CEO of a major corporation but the only thing that is in my control for this goal is getting the skills necessary and being the best employee I can. Whether I am actually hired as a CEO is beyond my control. This is why so much of our society is frustrated and angry, they have set their goals as a title rather than being the type of person worthy of that title.

Mike and I have decided that we need more income and less expenses for our household. We are reducing costs wherever possible and I am looking for work. We would like to renovate the house and it is impossible to do with the budget the way it is. I am also going to work on The Portable Library while I am looking for an "outside" job. Getting a job is outside of my control so I am going to apply for anything that looks like a good fit but focus on reducing costs and increasing our income as much as possible. Reducing involves the process of deciding what we value at home and reducing our outgoing money accordingly. Part of this process of cutting back must involve slowing down as we spend more money when we are too busy and running everywhere. Two weekend festivals in a row has wreaked havoc on our budget so we must prioritize and decide what "vacations" we can handle without breaking the bank.

Here is my personal summation of our WOAW reading for this morning...

What you hold to have the most value in your life is what your enemy can use to capture you. You are free when you truly hold everything, even your very existence, with an open hand. Ultimate freedom is to realize that everything in life is a gift and can be easily lost, even life.

Reading some Musonius Rufus this morning and the 100 mile diet and the Small Home movement were very prominent. These are two things that Mike and I feel are important to help with Affluenza and to lessen the environmental impact of our lives on our planet. We are contemplating purchasing an acre and building a small house that we will move to once we are alone rattling around in our house and all of the chicks have flown the nest. :) We would need to use a local sustainable building source though. Stack Cordwood building techniques can be used for an efficient local building method. We will need to continue to do research on the best techniques and resources to use.

The 100 mile diet is something we have meant to implement for awhile. There are some staples like oranges, orange juice, bananas, etc. that would not fall into this 100 mile requirement! Also Coffee is something that would need to go as there are no coffee growers in our area. ;) We do have a friend who lives close by who runs an organic tea business though! This diet is something that we could do immediately though and does not need to wait. Next groceries I will strive to be as 100 mile diet compliant as possible. :)

Both of these initiatives, small home and 100 mile diet, fit within my mandate for this blog, Voluntary Simplicity within a Stoic lifestyle. Little but steady progress will win the race towards this ultimate goal.

Talents and Abilities

The worth of an object is not in itself but in its ability to be used to craft a life. A talent is also much the same in that it is the use of the talent that gives it worth. If we use our lives, talents and abilities with skill to enrich our world it is far more valuable than if we hide our talents and keep them to ourselves.

Learning to increase our talents for the betterment of society increases their capacity to bring enlightenment, joy and wonder to the world we live in. We should strive to perfect our various skills and share them in benevolence with our family, friends and the greater world around us.

I have varied talents, as do all of us, music/singing, writing, cooking/baking, sewing, crafts, organizing, administration, homemaking, gardening. I am sure my husband and children would probably add other things to this list but what am I doing with these talents and abilities? They need to be used to enrich our daily lives personally and for the greater community as a whole. I challenge myself to continue to grow and learn to use these abilities within this greater community.

True Friendship

This mornings readings were centered around the concept of friendship and its role in society.

Lately I have had the pleasure of having many friends come into my life. Over the past three years my circle of friendships has grown in an increasing manner. I have always tended to be somewhat reclusive and retiring which has tended to keep myself somewhat isolated with only a handful of close friends. This has changed as I am allowing myself to be more outgoing and I am being rewarded with not just acquaintances but really good and close friends.

Many of these close friends are quite a distance away which means we can only get together, in the flesh, once or twice a year at festivals or meetings, etc., but some of these friends live in the same city and can be visited on a more regular basis. Last night, for instance, I spent a few hours in the company of amazing women, some already my friends, but some new friends, and the experience was wonderful. An inclusive circle of women friends sharing and talking together. :)

In our net driven society I think that the quality of friendship is often lost. Time seems to be spent in isolation watching television or surfing the net, the "old fashioned" past times of socializing, crafts, women's sewing circles etc. seem to have fallen out of use and this saddens me. I think that the time spent with friends away from technology is invaluable and I will make these activities a priority in my calendar.

The flower of friendship flourishes with the sunshine of love and the water of time. Let's all strive to cultivate a varied and thriving garden of friendship in our lives. :)

Appearances can be Deceiving

DO not say to what excels, Who are you? If you do, it will, somehow or other, find a voice to tell you, "I am like the purple thread in a garment. Do not expect me to be like the rest, or find fault with my nature, which hath distinguished me from others."

What then, am I such a one? How should I? Indeed, are you such a one as to be able to hear the truth? I wish you were. But, however, since I am condemned to wear a grey beard and a cloak, and you come to me as to a philosopher, I will not treat you cruelly, nor as if I despaired of you, but will ask you—Whom is it, young man, whom you would render beautiful? Know first who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly. You are a man ; that is, a mortal animal, capable of a rational use of the appearances of things. And what is this rational use? A perfect conformity to nature. What have you then particularly excellent? Is it the animal part? No. The mortal? No. That which is capable of the use of the appearances of things? No. The excellence lies in the rational part. Adorn and beautify this, but leave your hair to him who formed it, as he thought good.

EPICTETUS. DISCOURSES. Book iii. §1. ¶4,

This was our Stoic reading for today and I felt I needed to copy it here so that there is a context for what I have to say this morning...

In reading this I am struck with the purple thread reference. Purple thread was costly and used only by the highest levels of society and the senate. It set the wearers apart as the glitterati of Greek society much like our own celebrities who are set apart by outward beauty and designer clothing. We are only truly worth what our mind and moral fiber is worth. Appearances are nothing if we are rotting on the inside.

I am reminded of the saying attributed to Jesus in the Gospels were he is talking to the Pharisees and likens them to whitened sepulchers. White and beautiful on the outside, adorned with carvings and statues, yet holding a putrefying corpse inside.

Let us strive to the highest standards, caring for each other, ourselves and our world above all concerns for outward beauty as defined in our society.

Health and Cleanliness

Mike and I were reading some Epictetus this morning and the message was about the need to treat our bodies with care and respect. At the time the Cynics were proliferating a message of denial of the body was closer to holiness. This "doctrine" continued into the early Christian church with St. Augustine and is somewhat rampant today.

There seems to be a marked dichotomy in society of those who obsess over their bodies; plastic surgery, 7 gym visits a week, etc. and those who neglect their bodies; excessive weight gain, lack of hygiene, lack of care over appearance. There must be a balance between the two!
We only have one body while we are in this life, it requires constant care and attention, appropriate food, regular cleaning and care. The trick is to care for out bodies without obsessing, allowing ourselves to age but to age gracefully. For every individual the type of care differs, some dye their hair, while others allow the salt and pepper to slowly appear on its natural schedule. I think you need to be true to how you feel about the standards of appearance you wish to set for yourselves. I have joined a gym but my goal is not to lose every pound I have gained through five pregnancies and many years to get back to my pre-marriage weight. My goal is to be healthy and vital and eat sensibly with the least amount of additives and chemicals as possible.

My motivation for taking care of myself is to have as long a life as possible to share with my husband and family. I guess the decision for everyone is to decide what level of care needs to be kept and strive to maintain our bodies to the best of our ability.

Life and health to all!

another day

Today is a raining, stay inside and stay warm kinda day in Ottawa/Gatineau. We are staying home and nesting. :)

I have made an Apple Granola loaf which should be ready in an hour or two. Looking forward to having that with a warm cup of coffee later. We are tidying up our bedroom this afternoon, going through the small pockets of stuff and reorganizing the Sanctuary a bit. Hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday!

Dr. Who awaits us this evening. :)